Are you aware of the power of eye contact? When was the last time you looked someone in the eye for more than a few seconds? Maybe you looked your co-worker in the eye this morning or maybe you looked your partner in the eye when you said good-bye to him before work. Or, maybe too busy answering emails or sending messages on your phone, you haven’t had the chance to look anyone in the eye today. After all, screens get a lot of our visual attention these days.
Eye Contact Increases Oxytocin
If the latter is the case, you may be missing out on an easy, free and readily available way to reduce stress. That’s right. Eye contact increases the hormone oxytocin which has an inverse relationship with the stress hormone, cortisol. In other words, when stress (and therefore, cortisol) go up, oxytocin (the feel-good, social bonding hormone) goes down. But, with eye contact, oxytocin increases, causing cortisol levels to decrease.[i] In addition, oxytocin leaves people with a sense of well-being and connection, the antithesis of stress.
Oxytocin Decreases Feelings of Isolation
Some might say that I have a stressful job, working with people’s emotional pain, listening to their traumatic stories and often sitting with their sadness, fear or anger. But I also have the opportunity to look my patients in the eye, every hour I’m at work. This may be one reason I don’t burn out. I benefit from increases in the hormone oxytocin that bring about feelings of social connection instead of feelings of social isolation. Despite the fact that I don’t have a team of colleagues to interact with on a daily basis, I don’t feel lonely. I’m sure repeated eye contact throughout the day has a hand in that.
Eye Contact Grows the Brain
Neuroscientists now know how important eye contact is between infants and their caregivers in forming secure attachment, a healthy style of relating to oneself, others and the world. One scientist says, “Without oxytocin and without the ability to form attachments, the human brain as we know it could not exist.” [ii] That’s because the infant-caregiver “gaze” in which the caregiver is visually attuned to the infant’s experience and conveys that attunement through the face, particularly the eyes, helps grow the infant’s brain.
The Power of Eye Contact: Conclusion
Eye contact is a powerful tool when used for the better good. In other words, looking at someone in a threatening way increases stress because of the sense of danger, but attuned eye contact, compassionate eye contact, helps mitigate the effects of stress on the brain and the body and brings us closer to one another, a healing force in and of itself.
[i] C Sue Carter, “The Role of Oxytocin and Vasopressin in Attachment,” Psychodynamic Psychiatry, December, 2017 Vol. 45 (4), pp.499-517.
[ii] K Uvnus-Moberg and M Petersson, “Oxytocin, A Mediator of Anti-Stress, Well-Being, Social Interaction, Growth and Healing,” Zeitschrift fur Psychosomatische Medizin and Psychotherapie, 2005, Vol. 51 (1), pp. 57-80.
Dr. Van Deusen received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology in Los Angeles in 1992. She has cultivated deep knowledge of attachment theory and stress and has worked with various populations over her two and a half decade career. Her practice is in Seattle, Washington. Buy her book Stressed in the U.S.: 12 Tools to Tackle Anxiety, Loneliness, Tech-Addiction and More here