Can A Positive Event Be A Cause Of Stress?

Is it possible for a positive event to be a cause of stress? While we associate stress with negative circumstances, stressors themselves can be either positive or negative.

Forty-three life stressors

The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory, created by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe (Rahe 1967), lists forty-three life stressors that were researched and correlated to physical illness. The more stressors one has or the more intensely one experiences stress in a year’s time, the more likely that person will develop an illness.

On this list, however, are several life events that one could deem positive. For example, the seventh cause of stress is marriage, number twelve is pregnancy, and number twenty-five is an outstanding major achievement.

Why are these seemingly positive experiences considered stressful? Because any kind of change can make us feel less in control, and not feeling in control can be stressful. In other words, when we are familiar with something, we usually don’t see it as a threat.

When something new occurs outside our comfort zone, however, it has a tendency to rattle us as we think we could be invaded, engulfed or changed by it.

Take, for example, getting married. While this is usually a celebratory event, it can wreak havoc on one’s psyche. People can get “cold feet,” worrying they’ll lose freedom by choosing to share life with a partner. Sometimes people fear the actual ceremony, that they’ll forget their vows or, in my case, that the wedding singer will sound flat–and she did, which caused my stomach to flip for the five minutes she sang.

Gaining in life also means losing and this can scare us. We may gain a partner but lose a little independence. We may get a promotion, but lose the team we had worked with for so many years. We may graduate from high school and go off to college (an exciting adventure for most), but lose the comfort of our parents’ home and the familiarity of our old friends.

How to handle stressors

The key to handling these positive stressors is to offer ourselves reassurance that, as we venture into the less known, we will be there for ourselves no matter what. We can internally parent ourselves by being present and patient as we acclimate to our new experience.

We can offer ourselves kindness and non-judgmental encouragement and remind ourselves as long as we are listening inside, we’re going to be okay.

This may include allowing ourselves to grieve the job, home, or single life we’ve left by being sad for a bit. It may mean we confide in a friend or therapist about our fears. An understanding ear can sometimes relieve stress immediately (whether it’s our own or someone else’s).

These positive stressors are usually short-lived and don’t tend to cause chronic illness. A little queasiness in the gut, for example, isn’t going to give you stomach cancer. But if you have a number of these positive stressors within a short period of time, you may want to take extra care of yourself.

Having to stay alert to possible threats in the new, unknown life or grieve too many losses at once (which positive life changes usually go hand in hand with), the momentary stomach flip can turn into chronic gut imbalance. The brief pounding of the heart can become prolonged cardiovascular strain.

Cause of Stress: Conclusion

So walk with yourself into the unknown with a kind heart and non-judgmental mind so that you can feel more supported when life changes, even if that change is a positive one.

You might also be interested to read:

• Three Simple Three Ways to Decrease Stress in a World of Technology and Information Overload
• Nature as a Stress-Reliever
• Helping Kids be Resilient to Stress